Should Have Been a Rock Star- Dec 8, 1980

December 8 1980
The day we lost Lennon

I think it is the recent death of Michael Jackson, and the outpouring of grief of people who were his devoted fans that really draws me back almost 30 years to the day that I lost one of the icons of my youth. I remember when Elvis died. Both of my then sister-in-laws were he Elvis fans. I had a hard time comprehending why they were so upset over the loss of a pop singer, and probably said some joking things that I, then, thought was funny, but in retrospect, were cruel to those were his devotees.

I learned that lesson on December 8, 1980.

I was about 1 ½ years into my first teaching job. In August I had moved into a house in Sapulpa with my asst. coach and friend, Bud Sexson. We shared a small rental house and spent most of our free time around sports. We both coached Junior High football and he coached wrestling in the winter. I was free until spring track.
On Monday nights, we settled in the living room, Monday Night Football on the television. I usually had on headphones, listening to music and grading as I watched the visual part of the game. I must admit I had never been a big fan of the broadcasters who narrated the games. Especially Howard Cosell. This was his era in Monday Night Football.
Sometime around 10:30 pm, Bud shook my arm… saying “hey.. you’ve got to hear this. “ I took off the head phones and listened to Cosell make the announcement that apparently John Lennon had been shot.. Bud knew that I was a huge Beatles fan, as evidenced by my Beatles collection, both as a group and solo artists. I was stunned. I left the headphones off waiting for more news about John and the attack.
IT was just a few moments later that Cosell came back on with the tragic news.

“This, we have to say it, remember this is just a football game, no matter who wins or loses. An unspeakable tragedy, confirmed to us by ABC News in New York City: John Lennon, outside of his apartment building on the West Side of New York City, the most famous, perhaps, of all The Beatles, shot twice in the back, rushed to the Roosevelt Hospital, dead on arrival.”

I was stunned. John, the leader and rebel of the Beatle years was gone. He had just recently released his first new LP in 5 years, “Double Fantasy.” The song, “Just Like Starting Over” was frequent on the airwaves. John, after an absence that he spent as a househusband, caring for his new son born in 1975 on John’s own birthday, was gone.

The television that night was filled with news of Lennon’s death, and very little information about the event. ABC broke into programming to make the announcement. Walter Cronkite relayed the news to a watching population. I sat, switching channels, trying to find out if somehow there had been a mistake in the reporting. Maybe, it was all a big mistake.

I received two calls that night. The first call came from the girl I dated, Cas, who was a student at Kansas University. Cas had seen the news and knowing my feeling about the Beatles, called me to see how I was doing. A then student of mine, Ashley Peck, also called me. She, too, knew of my connection to the Beatles and called to talk with me about the shooting, in case I ahd not heard. Interesting, that today, after nearly 30 years, cas and I are still good friends and Ash and I have been married for 22 years.

The next few days, grieving fans swallowed the area around the Dakota apartments, where Yoko and son, Sean, lived. Flowers and pictures decorated the entrance to the apartments where the fatal shooting had occurred. People sang John’s songs and stood, in mass shock at the loss of a cultural icon. Who, alive then, did not have some memory attached to a song by John or the Beatles?

There was no funeral for John. He was cremated two days later. Yoko had made this announcement to the world…
"There is no funeral for John. John loved and prayed for the human race. Please do the same for him. Love, Yoko and Sean.”
She also requested that the thousands who thronged the area around the Dakotas re-convene on Dec. 14th for a 10 minute, world wide silence for John. 30,000 gathered in London. 100,000 filled Central park. I, along with my cousin, Rob, his sisters and others joined scores of people in a silence sponsored by KMOD, the local FM rock station. Me met, somber and quite, as music played form loud speakers, and as the time grew near, the crowd bowed heads in silent remorse, shared by a chain of fans from around the globe.

More news came out about John’s assassin, Mark David Chapman. He had been a Lennon imitator, as far as dress, granny glasses and even marrying a Japanese wife. He sometimes signed his name as John Lennon. But, in Dec., of 1980, Chapman bought a plane ticket from Hawaii to NYC with the twisted plan of killing the man he felt had sold out to materialism.
Chapman waited outside the Dakota apartments the day of the 8th. Lennon was visited by Annie Leibowitz, Rolling Stone photographer who took candid shots of Lennon and Ono. Lennon also gave an interview in which he said that he liked being older and making music for everyone who survived the 60’s. He had just turned 40 on October the 8th of the same year.
At 5 pm, Lennon and Ono left the apartments for a studio session to remix tracks. On the way to his car, Lennon stopped to sign autographs from fans. One of those fans was Chapman, who had Lennon sign on his copy of “Double Fantasy.” Lennon left. Chapman drifted near the apartments, sitting and reading a book.
They were at the studio for several hours and returned to the Dakota at about 10:20 pm (EST). Later, the Dakota doorman said he saw Chapman standing in the shadows nearby. As Ono and Lennon passed by, Chapman stepped out and fired 5 shots, 4 of which struck Lennon in the back. He was pronounced dead on arrival at the hospital, even though he was still alive when the rushed him into a car.
Chapman was arrested without a struggle. The doorman had taken his gun and he sat silently waiting for the police. Chapman had been reading the book “The Catcher in The Rye.” Chapman apparently saw himself as the Catcher in th Rye, protecting others from Lennon.

People all over the world mourned John. The remaining Beatles made public statements about John. Paul recorded “Here Today” about John. George recorded “All Those Years Ago” with the help of both Paul and Ringo. Elton John, good friend of John and Yoko, released “Empty Garden (Hey, Hey Johnny).” Even bands like Queen (“”Life is Real”-song for John”), Molly Hatchet (“Fall of the Peacemakers”) and close buddy Harry Nilsson’s “Lay Down Your Arms” either mourned the loss of artist, icon and friend or chided the public on the USA’s easy access gun laws.

Later, in 1984the award winning film, “The Killing Fields,” made the poignant use of the song “Imagine.” I can recall, sitting in the dark theater, tears streaming down my dace as the chords of the song echoed around the theater. The moment in the movie was both touching and memorable, but I think that, too, I shed those tears for the loss I still felt over John’s death.


As Christmas break arrived, Cas drove down to visit me in Sapulpa. I was still in school for a one last day, and occasionally I was called to run a substitute bus route before my classes. She rode with me, sitting in the front seat as I guided the large Orangish-Yellow behemoth (my own Yellow Submarine) along a country route. The young kids, jacketed against the cold Oklahoma December morning, anxious for winter break, jabbered and flirted. The radio, small, tinny speakers set in to the bus walls, strained to be heard above the raucous din.
It was then I heard the three bells that introduced “Just Like Starting Over.” I turned, looking over my shoulder at Cas. Bundled, warm inside the clattery bus, she smiled, acknowledging the song.
“It's time to spread our wings and fly
Don't let another day go by my love
It'll be just like starting over, starting over”

I nodded and smiled back. John is gone, but forever always around me.